What Song Describes You in Bed?

By: Emily Maggrett
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
What Song Describes You in Bed?
Image: urbazon/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Whether your goal is to use your milkshake to bring all the boys to the yard or to share a whole lotta love, one thing's for certain: You want to make sure your sex game is on point. That's understandable! Because if you don't know how to put a little sugar in your partner's bowl, they're never going to find you simply irresistible. Instead, they'll say thank you, next and trade you in for someone more bootylicious. 

But how can you find out whether you're more like a little red Corvette or a busted Honda Civic? The answer, of course, is to take this quiz! If you're honest with us about your bedroom behavior, we'll tell you whether your sexual theme song should be "Shimmy Shimmy Ya" or "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." All you need to do is tell us what kind of sheets you have, what you keep in your bedroom nightstand and when you last went commando. 

Are you ready for a quiz that will make you blush harder than the lyrics to "Candy Shop"? Then dim the lights, throw some George Michael on the stereo and prepare to be embarrassed! Don't worry — by the end, you'll be humming, "… Baby One More Time." So let's play!

Q13 Skinny Dipping
Olivia Bell Photography/Moment Open/Getty Images
Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Yes, when I was a kid.
I always ask people to go, but they don't want to!
Sure — I'm actually going skinny-dipping tonight.
No. What if I got caught?

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Q1 Wearing
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What are you wearing RIGHT NOW?
Athletic gear
Pleather
A crop top and soft pants
Chinos

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Q5 Underwear
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When's the last time you skipped wearing underwear?
A couple months ago
Yesterday
Last weekend 😏
Never

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Q2 Meet
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After you meet someone, how long does it take you to decide whether you want to sleep with them?
Two months
Five minutes
Three hours
Six months

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Q3 Bed
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Do you "set the scene" in your bedroom with special sheets, candles or lighting?
I have satin sheets.
I have a whole collection of "sensual" candles.
Dim lighting is everyone's friend.
Why would I need to "set the scene"?

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Q4 DM
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Let's say you're DMing with someone you haven't slept with yet. Which emoji will you use to show them that you're interested?
💖
🍑
🍆

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Q6 Co Worker
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Have you ever had sex with a co-worker?
Yes, but we were dating.
No, although I've tried to make that happen more than once.
Yes ... and it's still a secret.
Of course not!

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Q7 In Love
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Do you need to be in love in order to get down?
... Yes
No. I don't even need to like the other person!
Not if we already have chemistry
I would never get down without a firm commitment from the other person.

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Q8 Wax
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What do you wax and when do you wax it?
When I'm in a relationship, I wax everything below the waist.
I wax everything below my eyebrows, all the time!
I don't like wax, so I only use it when requested to.
Ew!!! I would never wax anything.

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Q9 Ponytail
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Have you ever pulled on a woman's ponytail? Or had your ponytail pulled?
I'm a puller of ponytails.
Neither, but I'd like to.
I enjoy having my ponytail pulled.
I'd never engage in such behavior!

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Q10 Embarassed
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Does it embarrass you when people start talking dirty in public?
Kind of. It just seems unnecessary.
No, because I'm probably the person who started it.
Depends ... what's their motivation?
I hate it; it's so inappropriate!

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Q11 Brunch
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At Sunday brunch, do you gossip about your conquests with your friends?
No ... I'm more the relationship type.
Oh yeah! And I live for it.
Haha, yep.
No way! That kind of thing is for drama queens.

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Q12 Celeb
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If you could have sex with any living celebrity, who would you choose?
Rihanna
Russell Brand
Brad Pitt
Emma Watson

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Q14 Secret
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Do you have a secret boyfriend or girlfriend?
No ... I don't believe in playing those kind of games.
I wish.
Yes, for the summer!
No, that sounds wrong.

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Q15 Music
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During the act, what do you use for background music?
Opera
Anything by Pitbull
Anything by Usher
Uh ... actually I usually put Netflix on.

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Q16 Two Other People
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Have you ever been with two people at the same time?
Once
No, but I really want to!
Yes, a few times
No, and I never would!

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Q17 Partner
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If you found out your partner had slept with a lot more people than you have, would you care?
I'd be a bit jealous.
It would make me feel sooo competitive!
I wouldn't care; the past is the past.
I would dump them.

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Q18 XRated
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Let's say you're thinking about your sweetie (and want them to know!) Would you send them an X-rated pic?
Maybe ... sounds a bit risky.
I've got an entire folder full of boudoir pics on my phone that I use only for this purpose.
Yes (but it would be a Snap.)
Heck no!

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Q19 Position
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What's your favorite position?
On our sides
Against the wall
I'll give you a hint: it involves the kitchen table.
Missionary

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Q20 Movie
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In your opinion, what's the sexiest movie of all time?
"Secretary"
"Blue Is the Warmest Color"
"9½ Weeks"
"The Princess Bride"

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Q21 dominated
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Does being dominated by your partner make sex better for you?
Yep. That's all I'm gonna say, though.
I prefer to dominate, my friend.
Of course. I'm only human!
Ew, no.

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Q22 Dirty Talk
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If your partner started talking dirty to you in bed, what would you do?
Talk dirty back
Start livestreaming our encounter
Put their words into action
Blush and say, "Oh my!"

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Q23 Naked
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Would it embarrass you to be naked in front of your partner in broad daylight?
Not if we'd been together for a while
It wouldn't embarrass me to be naked in front of Congress in broad daylight.
Nah. I'm just not that shy.
Yup. So much!

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Q24 Gossip
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If you found out that some people in your social circle were gossiping about your sex life, how would you feel?
Weirded out. I mean ... why?
Thrilled. Finally, I'm scandalous!
Neutral. They must not have very interesting sex lives themselves.
What? They are? What are they saying?

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Q25 NightStand
Ryuhei Shindo/Photodisc/Getty Images
What do you keep in your bedroom nightstand?
A USB drive full of slow jams
Handcuffs, edible underwear and a selection of sex toys
Lube and condoms
The latest novel from my book club

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Q26 Noise
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If your partner asked you to make more noise, what would you do?
I'd moan my head off.
I'd make so much noise, the neighbors would call the cops.
I'd say no, then start whispering dirty nothings in their ear.
I'd roll my eyes and keep making the same amount of noise as usual.

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Q27 Are You A
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Are you a Miranda, a Samantha, a Carrie or a Charlotte?
Miranda
Carrie
Samantha
Charlotte

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Q28 Uncomfortable
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Which part of sex makes you feel the most awkward?
Getting undressed for the first time
Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
If my partner is nervous, that can make ME nervous.
Every. Single. Minute.

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Q29 Wont do
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Is there anything you WON'T do?
I won't get freaky with people I don't care about.
Let me think ... no.
I won't get nasty if I don't have the other person's enthusiatic consent.
How long do you have? Because I have a VERY long list ...

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Q30 Roll in hay
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Be honest: How long do you ACTUALLY want a roll in the hay to last?
Three hours
Six hours!
It can be 10 minutes, as long as those minutes are high-quality.
Twenty minutes tops

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You Got: