What Percentage Gross Are You When No One Is Watching?

By: Steven Miller
Estimated Completion Time
7 min
What Percentage Gross Are You When No One Is Watching?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Most of us try to not be gross when we are around other people; some of that is because we are polite and that we were raised right, but a lot of it is simply because we want people to hang around us. Sure, once you have been in a relationship for a long time you might start being totally disgusting around your significant other, that tradition has been around since the beginning of time, but that is basically because the other person is trapped with you at that point. 

But when we are alone it is a whole different ballgame; we walk around in sweatpants or dirty clothes, we don't shower or brush our teeth for long periods of time, we pick our nose, we fart, we burp and we chew with our mouths open. While a lot of us don't do all of that when it comes to the gross scale, it really is hard to know who is who, because of the fact that we don't know what happens when other people are alone. The most attractive and put together person could be the most disgusting person when they are alone. Where are you on the gross scale? Take this quiz to find out.

Do you pick your nose when no one is around?
I pick my nose when people are around.
I definitely get in there deeper when I'm alone.
Yes, but I'll make sure my finger is clean before I do it.
Sure, but I'll likely use a tissue to do it.

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How likely are you to scratch an itch in a private area when you're alone?
I'll do a brief scratch of my private areas.
I will, but I won't linger there long.
I definitely will, but I'm not going to overdo it.
Of course I am. If I have an itch, I'm going to scratch it thoroughly.

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If you're alone, do you wash your hands after using the bathroom?
It's pretty rare that I would.
I almost always wash my hands.
I never do.
I always wash my hands after using the bathroom.

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How often would you take a shower if you were by yourself for an extended period of time?
Maybe once a week or so.
Probably every other day.
I'd still shower once a day.
Probably once every three or four days.

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If you're by yourself, do you flush the toilet after every use?
I might not flush once in while after peeing.
I only flush after going number two.
I flush the toilet after every use.
I hardly ever remember to flush.

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If no one else was around, how often would you brush your teeth?
Once or twice a day.
Probably never.
Every other day.
Once a week.

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How regularly would you pleasure yourself if you were alone for an extended period of time?
Multiple times a day.
At least once a day, for sure.
Probably every other day.
It would be pretty rare for me to do that.

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How high would the pile of dishes get in the kitchen before you would wash them?
I would clean the dishes at least once a day.
I might go a few days without doing dishes.
I'd have to run out of clean dishes to wash any.
I'll likely start using disposable dishes rather than wash the ones in the sink.

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If someone walked into your place after a week of being alone, what would it look like?
It would be a pretty big mess.
There would be some things out of place, but it wouldn't be too bad.
It would look like a tornado had touched down.
It would look neat and clean.

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Are you preparing your own meals or ordering delivery every night?
There would be boxes of delivery or take-out piled up all over the place.
I'd do most of my own cooking, but I'd get delivery once in a while.
I'd do all of my own cooking.
I would likely order quite a bit of delivery.

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Have you ever wiped a booger on a wall, your shirt or a piece of furniture when you were alone?
I might have done that once or twice.
I've done that a few times.
That's over-the-top for me. I would never do that.
I have left my mark all over the place.

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Do you rest your hand inside your pants when no one is around?
No, I never put my hand there.
As soon as I sit down, that's where my hand automatically goes.
That happens once in a while.
It's pretty common for my hand to end up there.

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How often are you naked when you're alone?
My clothes come off as soon as I walk in the door.
I will definitely be nude for extended periods of time.
I might walk around naked for a little while after a shower.
I'm clothed almost all the time.

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Do you bother to use deodorant when no one else is around?
Yes, I use deodorant every day, no matter what.
I might skip it a few days, but I wear it most of the time.
I might use deodorant if my stench gets too bad.
Nope, I like my natural smell.

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Do you eat in bed when you're alone?
It's pretty common for me to eat snacks in bed.
I might have a little something, but it won't be anything messy.
I have full meals in bed when I'm alone.
I never eat in bed.

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How hard do you blow your nose when you're alone?
I blow my nose so hard and loud that it disturbs the neighbors.
I'll give it a short blow to clear things out.
I'll blow just as quietly as if I was around people.
I'm definitely going to get after it more than I would in public.

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Would you bother to shave if you were going to be alone for a long period of time?
I might just shave every other day.
I'll skip a few days, for sure.
I'd continue to shave every day.
Nope, there's going to be hair everywhere.

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You're alone for a long time, how long will your toenails get before you clip them?
I'd clip them very regularly. I can't stand when my toenails get long.
They'd get so long that putting on shoes would become difficult.
I might let them get a little longer than usual.
I'd definitely not clip them as often as I do now.

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When you're alone, do you cook meals that everyone else but you finds absolutely disgusting?
Oh yeah. I put together some combinations that only I think are delicious.
I have a couple meals that I like that other people think is gross.
There is one meal that I like that others around me aren't a fan of.
No, my taste is pretty much like those around me.

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Do you enjoy your own farts?
No, it's gross no matter who it comes from.
Once in a while they're not that bad.
It depends on what I just ate.
I have to admit that I do enjoy the smell of them.

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How loudly are you burping when you're alone?
It would definitely cause you to turn your head.
It's got some volume to it.
It's pretty much deafening.
I don't like to burp loudly, even when I'm alone.

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How long do you tend to spend on the toilet?
I'm in there forever. My legs almost always fall asleep.
I'm usually in and out of there, but occasionally I do want to finish reading or watching something.
I get my business done and I'm out of there.
I've been known to spend a few extra minutes on the throne.

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Do you pee in the shower?
I do it once in a while.
I do it often. I heard it was good for killing bacteria on your feet.
I have never done that. How gross!
Yep, every time.

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How long will you wear the same shirt when you're alone?
I only wear a shirt for one day before it goes in the laundry basket.
I'll wear it until I simply can't stand the smell anymore.
I'll rotate back and forth between two shirts until they are too gross to wear anymore.
I'll get three or four days in a row out of it.

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What's your record for longest time between doing laundry?
I avoided doing laundry for three months or more.
I got away with not doing laundry for a little over a month once.
I managed to avoid it for three or four weeks.
I do laundry every two weeks at least.

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Do you enjoy popping pimples?
Ugh, no, that's gross.
I don't have any pimples anymore, but I used to enjoy it.
I don't get them often, but I do enjoy popping those zits.
I have lots of pimples, and I love to pop them.

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Do you set up everything you would need around you so that you don't have to move for hours?
I'll definitely get camped out for a few hours.
I do that a little bit, but I never sit still for more than one or two hours at the most.
Yeah, I do that all the time. I don't move for long periods of time.
I like to get up and move around more than that.

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How much porn do you watch when you're alone?
That's pretty much all I watch.
I might check out a little if I get bored.
I don't watch porn.
I will definitely spend a few hours watching porn.

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Have you ever fallen asleep while eating?
That's never happened, but I regularly eat right before bed.
That has happened a few times to me.
I almost always stop eating at least a few hours before bed.
I regularly wake up with food all over me.

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When something comes off of your body (fingernail, booger, etc.) how likely are you to study it for a while?
Why would you want to do that? That sounds weird to me.
How can you not?
I do that once in a while.
I don't always do that, but I do feel an urge to do it every time.

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