What % Genius Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
What % Genius Are You?
Image: PM Images/DigitalVision/Getty Images

About This Quiz

"Genius" is an appellation with a strange history. The term owes its origins to antiquity, but we now use it as a clinical term. Since the late 1800s, medical doctors, psychiatrists and other scientists have attempted to create scales for rating one's intelligence in an attempt to bottle and label something so amorphous we had to use a quasi-poetic term from antiquity to describe it.

Intelligence, measured arbitrarily according to the priorities of the person doing the measuring, is used to hire people for jobs, to rate students in ways that determine the trajectory of their lives, and as a social marker, either to claim membership in a social group or to claim separation from a social group. 

Genius is so subjective that the definition used a century ago would be deemed horrifically narrow-minded and medieval by people today. Intelligence, or lack thereof, was used as a justification for some of the most terrible acts in human history and is one of the strongest determinants in who one will marry. Studies show that people tend to wed other people of similar educational background and intelligence.

All this said, you may be wondering how intelligent you are. This is now easy to determine. Take this quiz, and we will tell you what percentage genius you are!

What's the best thing to do when toasting frozen bread?
Warm up the toaster first
Let it thaw for a minute
Start it in the microwave
Let it thaw overnight

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How would you fill the blank in "Is this ______ bottle of wine"?
Their
They're
There
Thare

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What should you use to lubricate your bicycle's chain, if no bike lube is available?
Knife oil
Shredder oil
Olive oil
WD-40

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If your car got stuck under the partially closed door of a garage, how could you remove it without causing further damage?
Turn the power back on and open the door
Manually crank the door open
Let air out of the tires
Slip something soft between the door and the car

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How many calories are there in the average slice of bread?
90
200
10
60

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How would you blind a motion sensor with a sheet?
Walk up slowly, holding the sheet over your whole body, then drape it
Slowly lower it over the camera
Turn off the lights, and toss the sheet over the camera
Distract the person watching the camera by pretending to be a ghost

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What part of your body should you cover if you are attacked with a knife?
Neck
Heart
Kidneys
Crotch

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What will fix your computer 99% of the time?
Reinstalling the OS
Deleting your cache
Uninstalling recent software
Power cycling it

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Which of these musical artists do we owe the most?
The Beatles
Elvis
Michael Jackson
Oasis

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What is the most useful kind of camera?
The one you have with you
Mirrorless
SLR
Point and shoot

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Which of these things other people do irritates you the most?
Mixed expressions
Attribute things to "anonymous" when we know who said them
Say "I could care less" when that means exactly the opposite of not caring at all
Loud music

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Which of these is the safest travel medium?
Flying
Train
Driving
Horse

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What must you remember when carving with a knife?
Carve away from yourself
Go slowly
Which side of the blade has the edge
The difference between wood and flesh

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How many medium sized apples fit in a bushel basket?
125
130
117
150

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What is the biggest serious danger when aboard a sailboat?
The boom
The deck tilting, sending you overboard
Sinking
Sharks

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What's the easiest way to tell if you're in a bad neighborhood?
There are places to install air conditioners in the buildings, but there aren't many air conditioners.
People all look paranoid.
The newsagents have bulletproof glass around them.
Check cashing places abound.

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How would you be able to tell which hand someone uses the most?
Which hand they use to drink
On which wrist they wear their watch
Which hand they use to accept cash
The opposite of the direction in which they rotate their body to turn around completely

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Which word belongs in the sentence "I can't tell ________ glove this is"?
Whose
Who's
Whos'
Hooze

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How many notes are there on a musical scale?
12
13
10
11

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Which was the best Star Wars movie and why?
"Empire," because it had the best twist, and left us wanting more.
"A New Hope," because it was very close to perfect Campbellian structure.
"Return of The Jedi" because it tied up all the loose ends of the original trilogy.
"Rogue One," because it wasn't tied to the expectations of the rest of the movies.

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How many pips (symbols of the suits as in spades, hearts, clubs, or diamonds) are there on a standard American deck of Bicycle Playing Cards?
428 (348 + 8 for the clubs on the KC +20 for the spades on the KS + 42 for the diamonds on the KD + 10 for the clubs on the QC)
348 (2 on every card + 2 more on every court card + 1 for every number, counting the aces as 1s)
358 (2 on every card + 2 more on every court card + 1 for every number, counting the aces as 1s)
400. Just a guess.

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What do all properly structured stories have in common?
Death and rebirth
A midpoint reversal
A twist near the end
Three acts

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What is the most important thing to do when you board public transportation?
Take your bag off your shoulder and put it between your feet.
Move to the middle of the car.
Give up your seat to the elderly or disabled.
Don't look anyone in the eye.

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When walking down the street, you get a notification on your phone. What do you do?
Step over to the side of the sidewalk so I'm not stopping right in front of someone when I look at the notification.
Keep walking as I check my phone.
Decide if I really care about the notification before looking.
Leave it until I get where I'm going.

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Which of these card games gives the player the best odds?
Blackjack
Bridge
Texas Hold 'em
Gin

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What number is opposite the 3 on a 6 sided die?
4
2
5
6

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What belongs in the blank in "Since the vaccine, we're seeing ________ cases of the disease"?
Fewer
A smaller number of
Not as many
Less

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What is the difference between a pop song and most songs in musical theater?
In musical theater, the song is usually about a decision or a process, starting at point A and ending at point B.
In musicals, people sing their thoughts out loud, as if it's a normal conversation.
In musicals, people don't know they're singing.
In musicals, the songs aren't popular.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping?
If I could smack you in the face, you'd know.
The sound of everything else, because there's no sound!
I can't do it, but I have a cousin who can.
Better yet, what's the sound of a one-handed clapping push-up?

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What are you avoiding right now?
Interacting with an acquaintance
Laundry
Taxes
Work

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You Got: