How Naughty Are You?

By: Emily Maggrett
Estimated Completion Time
7 min
How Naughty Are You?
Image: Paper Boat Creative / DigitalVision / Getty Images

About This Quiz

So, be honest: do you think Santa Claus is going to leave presents in your stocking this Christmas, or did your naughty behavior earn you nothing but a big lump of coal? This year, we all did things we're not proud of, from goofing off at work to flirting with that oh-so-wrong person. But were your actions so wicked that you've earned a spot on Santa's naughty list, or do you still qualify as nice? That's what this quiz aims to find out!

Tell us: did you troll any pretentious people on Reddit? Slide into a random hottie's DMs? Send your hot neighbor nudes? Spill the tea about all your worst behavior, please. We want to know about every naughty thing you've done, from lying about being sick to exploring your kinks.

We know this is pretty embarrassing, but to figure out whether Santa Claus is coming to your place, we need your answers to be as accurate as possible. After all, our quiz supercomputer can't properly analyze your results if they're a pack of white lies! So if you want to know the truth, you have only one option: take a deep breath, try not to blush, and plunge into this quiz! 

Woman Sending Text
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Think back to the last time you had a crush on someone. What kind of emojis did you use while texting them?
🍆 and 🍑
😉
👅, 🍆 and 💦
I never text using emoji! I use full sentences exclusively.

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Man giving Woman Christmas Gift
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What do you hope to get for Christmas this year?
New lingerie
A bottle of tequila
Fuzzy handcuffs
Fuzzy socks🧦

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Woman looking at Smartphone
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If we looked at your Instagram, what would we find?
Thirst traps for days
Fun pics of nights out with friends
Debauchery on a Keith Richards level
Pictures of my nana

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Make Return at Store
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Would you ever exchange a gift someone bought you for cash?
Yes, if it was something expensive that was given to me by a coworker.
Probably not ... but the idea is tempting!
Um, that's what I do with all my gifts.
I would never!

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LGBTQ Couple
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In bed, what's the kinkiest thing you ask your partner to do?
Pull my hair.
Bust out the massage oil.
Let's just say ropes are involved.
Leave the lights on.

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Woman sending flirty text
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Your hot ex sends you a saucy Facebook message. What do you write back?
"Hey, what are you up to tonight?"
"Wow, you're so bad!"
"You. Me. My apartment. Now."
"How dare you!"

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Friends Cheer-sing with Beer
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How often do you get day drunk?
I have a lake house, so let's just say: quite often!
Very rarely. That gives me a headache.
Oh, I don't know ... every Sunday?
Never. That's a very unhealthy, frivolous thing to do.

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Couple Paying Check
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In which situations do you not tip?
If I'm annoyed with the service, I tip 20%, but only with change and crumpled bills.
I always leave at least 10%, even if the service is atrocious.
To be honest, I never tip!
I tip the same for good service and bad, because waiters are underpaid and depend on my tips.

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Couple Snuggle in Bed
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Be honest: are you selfish in bed?
Yup. I'm a pillow queen or king.
Not usually ... except on my birthday!
If someone's lucky enough to get me in the sack, they need to prove that they deserve me, okay?
No! I'm always generous and polite.

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Confident Woman
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How often do you "go commando"?
Whenever my underwear runs out
Once or twice
Every time I wear a skirt
Never!

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Kiss Under Mistletoe
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What's your favorite naughty Christmas tradition?
Kissing my sweetie under the mistletoe
Drinking eggnog with rum
Performing a "Santa Baby" striptease
Putting up a stocking for my cat!

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Two Friends Using Smartphone
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In your opinion, is it ever okay to flake on a friend?
Yes, if you cancel in advance
No, unless something major is going on
I'm actually known as "The Pastry," because I'm flakier than a good croissant!
No. You must follow through on what you said you would do.

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Woman Dancing Nightclub
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Let's say you're feeling down. Would you ever go out in a revealing outfit, just to get some positive attention?
Well, it is an effective way to get compliments.
I've done that, but I usually pretend that I have no idea my outfit is provocative.
All of my clothes are daring. I'm proud of my body and there's nothing wrong with that!
I would never do that; I'm too proud.

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Woman at Night Club
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Are you the kind of messy person who lives for drama?
I AM messy and I DO love drama.
I pretend to be chill, but I love drama like nothing else.
I am the most messy, dramatic person you've ever met!
I'm genuinely calm and organized. Drama is a big turn-off for me.

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Couple Hugging
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Would you ever consider ghosting someone?
Yeah. I mean, it's not like you're murdering them.
If you haven't been going out for a long time, then yes, it's fine.
Ghosting is the only way I end relationships.
No. You owe your partner a face-to-face conversation.

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Donation Box
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Do you donate to any charities?
I've donated to a few GoFundMes, but in general, I'm not big on charity.
I spend most of my disposable income at ASOS, but occasionally donate to the Sierra Club.🦉
Nope, sorry. My disposable income is for me!
I donate to the Rainforest Trust, World Food Program and Doctors Without Borders ... basically all the important charities.

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Kids Under Christmas Tree
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When you were a little kid, did you ever commit any Christmas mischief?
I peeked at my presents!
I forgot to leave out milk and cookies for Santa.
I told my younger siblings that Santa isn't real.
I failed to write thank-you notes for some of my gifts.

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Friends Gossiping at Coffee Shop
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If one of your friends does something dumb, like dates a jerk or wears an ugly shirt, do you gossip about it with your other friends?
Haha, of course I do!
Well ... only if their new partner is a major waste of space.
If I'm awake, I'm gossiping about my friends, okay?
Yikes, no. That's unncessary AF.

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Couple Kiss on Couch
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Would you ever consider calling in sick to work and having sex all day?
Of course. You have to live your life.
For the right person, yes!
That's, like, all I ever do in the winter. I'm actually in danger of being fired.😜
How inappropriate. No, I would never do that.

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Woman Taking Selfie in Bed
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Have you ever sent nudes or requested them?
I'm an adult in the 21st century. Yes, I've done both.
I did a couple times in college, but nowadays I'm too worried about my privacy.
I'm requesting nudes as we speak, dawg!
What's a "nude"?

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Smiling Woman
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Do you ever troll people on Reddit or other forums?
I like trolling advice columns like "Dear Prudence."
I don't, but sometimes I get into it with people on Nextdoor.
I post horrible things on Reddit all the time, just to get a rise out of people.
Ew, arguing on the internet? No thank you.

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Cuddle on Couch during Christmas
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Have you ever stayed up all night with someone you're not serious about?
I stayed up all night with TWO people I wasn't serious about.😉
No ... but I was tempted to!
For me, that's called "every Saturday night."
Look dude, "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise," okay?

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Flirt Bar
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Be honest: have you ever flirted with someone just to see if you could get them to fancy you?
Well, if you don't try, you'll never know.
Sometimes I do that to store clerks.
All's fair in love and war!
No, because I hate it when people do that to me

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Woman Lying in Bed
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On a scale of 1 to 10, how kinky are you?
7. I'm not afraid to explore my wild side.
3. I like a spanking now and again, but I don't do anything too crazy.
10. I make Rocky Horror look like a nun.
1. I'm vanilla and proud of it!

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Couple Morning Cuddle
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How often do you practice safe sex?
I usually do, although every once in a while, I mess up.
Almost always (but sometimes I slip up)
I'm casual as heck about it. Who cares if I'm playing with fire?
Every time I have sex, I'm safer than the gold in Fort Knox.

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Volunteer at Soup Kitchen
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When you pass a homeless person on the street, what do you do?
I give them change, if I have any.
I make a mental note to donate to my local soup kitchen later.
I feel annoyed.
I go home and write a letter to my city council, asking them to dedicate more resources to affordable housing.

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Women Sharing Secrets
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How often do you spill other people's secrets?
Often. If I know something juicy, I have a very hard time keeping it in the vault.
Occasionally. I can't help it sometimes, even though it makes me feel so guilty!
All the time. There's nothing more fun.
Never. It's not right to betray my friends' trust.

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Text in Bed
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Whose DMs did you slide into this year?
My cute coworker's
My boyfriend's
My boss's 🤭
No one's. I couldn't "slide into a DM" if I wanted to.

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Coy Woman
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How many sex toys do you own?
Two or three
One (but it's a doozy)
I turned my basement into a dungeon.
Goodness gracious, none!

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Couple Kissing at Christmastime
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What's the naughtiest Christmas gift you'd ever give to a partner?
Coupons for sex
A couple's massage
Edible body paint
A strawberry-scented candle

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You Got: