How Many Redneck Tendencies Do You Actually Have?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
How Many Redneck Tendencies Do You Actually Have?
Image: n/a

About This Quiz

Have you ever cut your grass and found a car? Do you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife really drunk? Have you ever raked leaves out of your kitchen? If any of these things apply to you, then it is quite possible that you might have more than a little redneck in you.  You might think that it is an insult, but it really isn't. Being a redneck is as American as apple pie, if you make it with apples that you found on the ground that fell from your neighbor's tree.

If you find out that you are in fact a redneck after you take this quiz, or even if you are part of one, don't despair, it is all in fun after all. Being a redneck also can mean a lot of good things: that you are comfortable with nature, that you aren't pretentious and that you are family oriented. You know, all of that good stuff. So if you have ever bought your wife ammunition for Christmas or you have watched every single episode of Hee-Haw or you don't even know what we are talking about, the only way to know for sure how many redneck tendencies you have is by taking this quiz.

When do you put up Christmas lights?
When I move in
September
Right after Halloween
Right after Thanksgiving

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When do you take them down?
When I move out
February
January 6
January 2

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Do you wear shoes at home?
No
I wear slippers.
Yes
I wear special indoor shoes.

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What do you drive?
Battered 20-year-old pickup
Secondhand Dodge Ram
Newish electric plugin pickup
Prius

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What pet do you have?
I think I have a cat - well, one lives on my land and I throw food at it sometimes.
Large dog
Small dog
Hamster

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What sport do you watch?
NASCAR
NFL
NBA
Golf

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What TV show do you watch?
"Duck Dynasty"
"Pawn Stars"
"American Dad"
"Antiques Roadshow"

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What do you wear on a date?
Whatever I had on earlier
Jeans and a check shirt
Jeans and a sexy top
A cocktail dress or a suit

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What is "stock"?
Cattle
How much is in the back room, according to the inventory
It's a less fancy way to say bouillon.
It's my portfolio.

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How red is your neck, really?
Lobster
Crimson
It is the color of human skin untouched by the sun's harsh rays.
It is fake tan colored.

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How did you learn to swim?
They threw me in the bayou and I figured it out.
Neighbor's above-ground pool
Our pool
Swimming lessons at school

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Which season is best?
Summer
Spring
Fall
Winter

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What fit are your jeans?
Huh? They're just jeans, and they fit me.
Straight cut
Boot cut
Skinny jeans

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What would you spend on a bra?
$8
$12
$20
$150 for a custom one

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What does diversity mean to you?
No idea
It means three kinds of beer on tap.
It means a box you check on a form.
It means lots of different sorts of people all getting on.

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What are you drinking?
Whisky
Beer
Wine
Sake

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What's for dinner?
Crawfish
Burger
Pasta
Sushi

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What's on the radio?
Brooks and Dunn
Shania Twain
Taylor Swift
Lady Gaga

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Do you smoke?
Yeah
Once in a while
I smoke a cigar.
I have smoked a joint now and then, but I do not smoke.

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What comedian do you like?
Jeff Foxworthy
Louis CK
Amy Schumer
Wanda Sykes

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What do you call a smallish river?
Bayou
Creek
Stream
Canal

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How do you feel about those city folk?
They're pretentious and annoying.
They're harmless but man, are they ignorant.
They're out of touch but very nice.
They're delightful.

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How do you feel about roadkill?
Delicious!
Inconvenient
I don't really feel much about it.
Tragic

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How often do you eat beef?
Every day I can afford it
Twice a week
Once in a while
Never

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What Coke do you drink?
Coke
Diet Coke
I mix it up with all sorts of weird and wonderful ones, like that lime one they had a few years ago.
I do not drink soda.

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Tofu: food or not food?
It sounds like food, but I cannot be sure as I have never seen any.
NOT FOOD. EWWWWW!
Food if you are desperate.
Mmm, tofu!

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How do you think we'll be powering our homes in 20 years?
Coal
Oil
Natural gas
Solar

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Do you have a passport?
I have never had a passport.
Yes, but it is out of date.
Yes, just a regular one.
Yes and I had to get extra pages put in.

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How many American flags are you wearing this precise second?
Four
Three
One
I do not go in for such jingoistic nonsense.

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Do you have any furniture in your yard that really wasn't designed for the yard?
Yes, a whole lounge set
Yes, a sofa
Yes, a lounger
No, that is trashy.

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You Got: