Could You Beat Cersei Lannister at the Game of Thrones?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
Could You Beat Cersei Lannister at the Game of Thrones?
Image: The Movie DB

About This Quiz

Cersei Lannister is one of the most cunning, ruthless, successful matriarchs in fiction. Her knowledge of the rules of politics, the corridors of power, and the use of insider information are second to none. Could you beat her at the Game of Thrones?
If you were stuck in a bear trap in a cave filling with water, what would you do?
I'd try to hold my breath until the water went down.
I would scream for help.
I would try to get the trap open.
I would cut my arm off to escape.

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If your greatest enemy held your child hostage, a knife to his or her throat, what would you do?
I would surrender. It's not worth the life of my child!
I would negotiate for the life of my child.
I would tell my enemy that as soon as my child is dead, there is nothing to stop me from killing them.
I would have my child shot, and then I'd have my enemy tortured to death.

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If your mother or father sided with an enemy of yours, what would you do?
I would cry and cry and cry.
I would try to get them to see reason.
I would declare them enemies and put a price on their heads.
I would invite them to dinner, and kill them.

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If your oldest and best friend suddenly found themselves in competition with you for resources, how would you react?
I would just take the resources and see what happened.
I would find other resources in order to end the conflict, even if it meant famine.
I would find a way to end the conflict so I could have my ally back.
I would subvert their allies and crush them.

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If you had a nuclear weapon hidden away in your capital and your enemies were allowed in to parlay with you, what would you do?
I would offer them a demonstration of it.
I would show it to them, and then while they have their backs turned, I'd attack them with swords!
I would show them the weapon, saying "This is what you now face" and try to get them to see reason.
I would show them a good time, sneak out, and detonate the nuke, killing them along with many of my followers.

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Would you betray your family to outwit an enemy?
I wouldn't be able to.
I wouldn't want to.
If that's what it came to.
Of course I would.

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What is the end of the practice of war?
Awesome movies and television shows!
Lots of tragic deaths
Victory, and the forgiveness of the families of the soldiers who died for you
Victory at all costs

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What is best in life?
Ale!
Peace!
Victory!
To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

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How gung-ho are you to win this war at all costs?
I want to win! Sure! Sounds like fun!
I will burn my only child to win this war.
I will die to win this war.
I will skin my own children alive to win this war.

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Do you make friends easily?
Yes! I'm friends with everyone, even some Lannisters!
Yes, since everyone seems to want to be my friend.
No, but those I have are close to me.
No, but those I have are useful to me.

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Can you seduce those who you do not befriend?
No! I'm not a prostitute.
Only if they are of the gender I'm attracted to.
I will do it even if I have no attraction to them at all.
I can, and failing that, my children can if I tell them to, because they are loyal.

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Can you buy off those you cannot befriend or seduce?
No, I'm too broke.
I'm not sure if there's room in the budget for bribes.
I'm happy to do it to win.
What else is money for?

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How adept at military maneuvers are you?
I'm not.
I'm okay.
I'm trained.
Very

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What does an army live on?
Its eyes
Its spleen
Its legs
Its stomach

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How good are you at delegating?
I do everything myself because I'm an awesome expert.
I'm a bit of a micromanager.
Good, especially at knowing what I should or should not delegate.
Very good, because I am a good judge of my subordinates.

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Do you trust experts?
I trust everything they say.
I wouldn't trust them at all.
If they bring something new to the table.
That depends on if their expertise overlaps with mine.

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How far are you willing to look in order to gain an edge in warfare?
I will enlist Highgarden as allies.
I will seek the aid of the Free Folk.
I will go across the sea for allies.
The ends of the Earth, literally.

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How do you deal with enemies from within?
I try them in court.
I try to reason with them.
I trick them into foolish self-destruction.
I assassinate them.

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How do you deal with enemies from without?
Go back to the Iron Islands so I can endorse my sister as their queen.
Sit around a table with my best advisers and plan a naval assault on King's Landing.
Mount a military campaign.
Crush them, kill their families, kill their friends, burn their houses, burn their churches, burn their crops, and ban the use of their names.

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How do you deal with enemies who seem to have moral authority greater than yours?
By trying to change the narrative
By soliciting help from the Red Witch
By stealth, doublecross, and poison
By burning them all with wildfire

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How rich are you?
I owe money to Sir Friendzone.
I'm middle class.
I'm as rich as the narrative needs me to be.
I'm rich in the sense of "if I need something I can just have it"

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How good are you at wealth management?
Uh, not too good. I had to join the Night's Watch just to stay clothed and fed.
Not good, we Free Folk don't use money.
My father was good with money. He always said the one who passes the sentence should be the one to keep the books.
I'm good. I go to a city with my dragons, and I take all the wealth so I can manage it.

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Are you a good bet, financially?
Nope! As soon as I have some cash it's off to the Game of Thrones slot machines in Bravos.
I dunno... I don't handle my own finances very well.
Yes, I can stick to a budget.
Yes, I have dragons! As in more than one!

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How is your credit?
I have a credit score of... something.
It's okay.
It's pretty good.
I have really, really good credit.

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Can you bluff like you've got good credit?
It's so obvious I'm broke, I'm basically wearing rags.
No, I don't think so.
I can if that's what it takes.
Oh, yeah.

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Did your father have good credit?
He had many debts, which I'm stuck with.
He had bad credit, but it's no reflection on me.
He had okay credit.
Yes, he did.

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How much cash is left in the old trust fund anyway?
I blew it all on fast cars and loose members of the opposite gender.
My family always pays their debts.
Enough.
Loads!

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Have you recently sacked and pillaged Highgarden?
I'm doing it! God, mom!
It's on my to do list.
What? I was about to!
I did! It was awesome!

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Do you have any dragons?
No, because dragons don't exist.
No, because I locked them away in a cave because they are dangerous, destructive beasts.
Yes! I do! Two!
Yes, I do! Three!

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Have you been brought back from the dead by a Red Witch?
No, because I don't believe in magic.
No, because no one would consider me worth bringing back.
Yes! I was lucky.
No, because I don't allow my subordinates to organize a mutiny.

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