Are You a Sinner or a Saint?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
Are You a Sinner or a Saint?
Image: n/a

About This Quiz

Some say we're all sinners, and some say saints don't exist. If you accept that we're all a mix of both, then either the terms mean nothing, or it means no sinner is without virtue, and no saint is without fault.
How often do you drink?
Rarely if ever
A couple times a week
Six days a week
Two or three times... a day

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Do you drink to celebrate?
Only if it's appropriate
Sure, that sounds like a good idea, but only two rounds!
I drink until I get drunk when I celebrate
I drink until I black out when I celebrate

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Do you drink to commiserate?
No, because then everyone gets sadder
Only with my priest
Only with good friends
Yeah, nothing like spilling my guts over a beet

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Do you drink to mark milestones?
No, but that's because I'm a tea totaller
Sure, like weddings and things.
Sure! Like, this is the four month anniversary of me working at Acme! Toast!
Sure! Like, this is the eighth beer I've had! Toast!

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Do you drink when nothing is going on?
Does church count?
Sometimes, to watch the sunset
Depends on my mood
It's always five o'clock somewhere!

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Do you take drugs?
No, I'm clean thanks
Every once in a while
Socially
Only on days ending in "y"

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Do you take drugs when things are going well?
No, I don't take any drugs, period.
To celebrate the great moments in life, like weddings, etc.
Sometimes, but only on special occasions
Yes! Nothing says "hooray!" like an eightball!

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Do you take drugs when things are going pear-shaped?
I do not
I have in the past
Yes, but only when I really hit rock bottom
Yep! Nothing perks me up like some drugs!

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Are your drug habits a bad influence on anyone else?
No!
No, but only because no one knows about them
Yes, but I do feel a little bad about them
Yes, but who cares?

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Do you have friends or family who drink or take drugs because of you?
No!
Yes, I introduced an ex to it, and it ruined his/her life. I feel bad about it
Yes, some of my close friends
Yep! I'm a bad influence, for sure!

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Do you use tobacco?
Never
Sometimes
Socially
Yeah! It's great!

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Do you use tobacco even when other people ask you not to?
No! That would be so wrong.
I would if I was really stressed, like I'd just escaped a burning building
Only if I really need a smoke
Yeah. You're not the boss of me.

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Have you ever cheated on a lover?
No
Once, when I was young and drunk
A few times, but only because the person I was cheating with was really hot
The better question would be "Have I ever not cheated on a lover?"

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Have you ever had several lovers who are unaware of each other, at the same time?
No
I must say I did fantasize about that when I was young
Only once, when I was in a bad place
That's more or less my whole love life. What a time saver, am I right?

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Have you ever had sexual relations with someone much younger than you?
No, that's inappropriate
No, but I can't say I didn't think about it when I turned 40
Once, when I was having my midlife crisis, I met someone in their 20s
I'm forty, I'm rich, and I'm active. Of course I spend loads of time with people in their 20s

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How often do you fly into a rage?
Never. I'm a Zen master.
Only a few times in my life
I do it from time to time
I run on rage like a locomotive runs on coal

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Do you get enraged at work?
No, work is no place for rage
I get worked up about our competition and sometimes I yell
I can't stand how my peers are such incompetents
I yell at my receptionist all the time for being a lazy good for nothing pain in the butt who never gets anything right!

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Do you get enraged at home?
No, home is a place of peace
I do get angry and yell at the TV sometimes
I yell at my kids a lot
I yell at my spouse every day

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Have you ever road-raged?
No
I road raged once in my life, but I took all my rage out on the tree I backed into
I road rage about once a week! That's why I joined a boxing gym.
I road rage all the time! I'm road raging right now! I take quizzes while driving to calm down! Argh!

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Are you in your job out of greed?
No, I do it for the love of my profession
No, but I need money for living
Yes, but also because as a lawyer, I can ruin people's lives.
Of course! Do you think I want to be in finance for fun?

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If you saw a wallet full of cash on the street, what would you do with it?
I'd mail it to the name on the ID
I'd help myself to the singles in the wallet and mail it to the name on the ID
I'd take the cash, and hand the wallet in at the nearest building
Pocket it, sell the ID, use the credit cards immediately, and pat myself on the back for my luck and smarts

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If you got wind of insider information useful in a stock transaction, would you use it?
No, that is immoral
Only if I needed the money for my mother's operation
Only if it were a ton of money
Yes! I'm no fool!

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How often do you just sit back and let your significant other tidy up?
Never. That would be an abuse of our relationship.
I've done it a couple times but only because I was injured.
I do it sometimes, but only because I'm totally into this new video game!
I do it all the time because isn't that what relationships are for?

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How often do you put your colleagues in a position where they have to finish work you were supposed to do?
Never. That's a totally awful thing to do.
I've done it a few times
I do it from time to time
Would you mind finishing up this quiz for me?

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Are you taking this quiz while you should be working?
No, I'm not like that
No, but I have taken quizzes at work a few times
I am, but only because my lunch break ran long
Yes, because I hate my job. I hate it!

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Are you dictating your answers to this quiz, and not even taking it yourself?
No
No, but it'd be cool if Dragon Dictation software worked like that
Yes, but only because I'm busy playing Candy Crush on my phone
Yes! My secretary had nothing else to do.

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Do you think there's someone else taking another quiz, who is having a better time than you?
No
I think like that sometimes
I think that might be in the back of my mind
I worry about things like that all the time

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Do you Facebook-stalk your exes and get upset if their lives seem okay?
I don't
I do sometimes, which is why I try to stay off Facebook
I do sometimes, but only one ex, but it's not creepy, I swear!
Oh my God, I do! Are you a psychic?

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How proud are you?
I'm not proud at all
I'm a little proud
I'm fairly proud
I'm the proudest

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If someone disrespected you, how would you react?
I would realize how petty the insult-thrower was and get on with my life
I would tell them to be more polite
I would start an argument
I would start a fight

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